Never, did I ever imagine myself as a solo mama! That was more than I thought I could do. I fought for years to save an unhealthy and destructive marriage. Aside from the stigma and judgement from the church, fear also kept me imprisoned. Eventually something changed in me and I broke myself and my children free.
Fear has always been my biggest enemy! But from the fear, I have learned over and over that I can do more than I ever considered possible.
After being forced out of the home I had imagined would finally be my forever home, I sucked up my tears and determined to find a place for my children. Purchasing a new home was actually cheaper than renting. That came with the sacrifice of living farther from town and my church family, but at the time I just wanted a place to keep my children safe.
My new house had one major downfall. It did not have a garage or basement or basically any place to store those things that just can not be put in a closet; like bikes, grills, mowers.
Just get a shed! Yep, that was the answer. Unfortunately, sheds are expensive to have built. Determined, I decided to buy a “build a shed” kit. It seemed fairly easy. I had little to no carpentry skills, but I can read directions and had put together lots of pressed wood furniture over the years.
One page at a time! That is how my son and I built a shed! One stinkin page at a time!
When I first saw the kit arrive, my heart just sank. Can I really do this? Did I just waist my money on this pile of wood? What if we can’t do it?
Over the next month or so, my son and I would go out on our free days and put together one more piece or hammer in one more row of shingles.
But every single day, I would look outside at the very slow progress, the piles of tubs and things on my deck getting ruined by the weather and think “I can’t do this! I need help! Can’t someone just come do this for me?” I cried nearly every time I looked out my kitchen window.
I just wanted help!
I did get some help on a couple occasions. My pastor and a guy from church came out and helped us set up the walls. On another occasion, another gentleman from church came and helped us get the rafters set.
I was immensely grateful for their help. But inside my heart was just crying for them to come get it all done for me. They could have done this project in a day or two and here it was taking us over a month.
My body ached! I had to keep stopping to referee my kids. The baby would need my help or need me to hold her. It was just taking SOOOOO long!
But after each crying session, I always ended with determination to “do this!” “You can do this, Kathie!” I pep talked myself each day. I prayed for strength.
Eventually, the day finally came and it was finished. We loaded it with all the items from the deck, throwing away what was ruined. The floor was irregular. There was a gap in the roof, but the shed was done.
Closing those doors to the loaded shed, I sighed in relief. I CAN do hard things! The Lord knew I needed to complete that shed on my own. It was the strengthening of the muscle he was building for future use. He knew that as a solo mama, I would need to be able to test my abilities, strength and perseverance in many more situations.
God knew I could do it!
He had already given me what I needed and had prepared me for the task. I’m grateful for that monument in my back yard that stands as a testament to the fact that I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me!